Its Tough Being Single at Christmas

It is tough for many being single at Christmas
Says Maureen Fearon, love Guru.

“With a passion for single people working towards dream relationships, I know what pain Christmas can cause. So let’s look at what happens to make it so tough?

Christmas is a time of gatherings. Family and friends that maybe you don’t see often (and some you don’t like!) will be asking for updates and talking like a judge at the end of a trial, summarising and concluding! Yes they don’t want to hear the details of what has gone on, for example (real life examples from clients):
 So you have dated 4 guys and you are still single
 So you single again!
 It’s a shame, you still haven’t found anyone
 And there are so many fish in the sea yet you can’t catch one
 Another year passes and you’re not getting any younger, its worrying isn’t it!
 And there’s nothing really wrong with you yet you haven’t got a girlfriend or boyfriend again!
 It must be hard being all alone at Christmas
 Here is the family’s sad singleton!
 It’s no wonder you are single, you don’t suit that extra weight!

These statements were said by people who care and did not have any intention of causing hurt, but it can still hit the heart!

So what can we do about it?

First look at what normally happens to cause you upset, feeling alone or uncomfortable and plan for it to be different. Most people don’t realise how upsetting they are because no one tells them. Prepare responses with people who normally say unhelpful things. You can look into hypnotic language for this if you want to be really skilful and make it fun, but in the meantime here are two options:
1. Auntie (Foi, Masi or Kaki), you’re not going to mention my love life and upset me this year are you?
2. Uncle (Fuji, Masa or Kaka), when you said xxxx it really hurt and upset me, what was it you intended to do?...........they will probably be mortified that they have upset you. “So you will avoid any reference to my love life wont you?”

They both work. It’s best to rehearse these conversations so they come easy to you if you need to use them.

The joy of being in love and sharing a fulfilling life is priceless. Use Christmas time as an opportunity to plan your success in finding love.

So, where to start? Well, like planning an adventure, there needs to be a goal and a plan of action. Step one, most importantly YOU! The more we understand ourselves the more we know what makes us happy.
Christmas is an ideal time to consult with a coach (a friend or a professional coach) or therapist to get you on the right road. Aim to build the best you and have support through the potential challenges of the dating journey– e.g.

• Overcome the baggage that happens to us all – understand it, disarm it.
• Rebuild confidence. (People like people with good confidence. Bullies and control freaks like people with low confidence as they are easier to manipulate)
• Identify the right partner for you
• Write a true, attractive internet profile.
(Pictures should show your most attractive look. (Get a friend or your coach to help you)
• How can I improve my communication with potential partners (more complicated that we imagine)
• Deal with rejection – The fear of rejection is the biggest stopper to finding love! The hurt people have from past relationships can damage future relationships and cause emotional problems
• Understand the changes in the cycle of relationships
• Focus on what is best for you
• Learn the skills of flirting – there are so many benefits
• Dream! There are many benefits to dreaming (we don’t have time to go into it here-trust me on this and just try it.)

Plan to make the journey to being in love enjoyable and successful. Planning it at Christmas time can bring a sparkle to your eyes. And remember action leads to making things happen. It can happen faster than you think!

If you're serious about wanting to find love, do what ever it takes – go to workshops, events, have coaching or therapy etc. It’s worth it to find love and that wonderful relationship which may transform your life to ultimate happiness and joy.

May you have the Happiest Christmas ever!”

Maureen X
Call 0161 406 5900, 07901 675726 0r email
maureen@wooschool.co.uk
www.wooschool.co.uk