Even before the first of us was considering packing away the Christmas decorations for yet another year the gift card retailers were availing us with visual reminders that Valentines Day was around the corner.
In a relationship? What thoughts does Valentines Day evoke in your mind?
"What should I buy her?" "I don't want her to think I'm a cheapskate?" "What did we do last year?" "When should we book the table?" "Will she be expecting a proposal half way up the Eiffel Tower?" "Will he tell me he loves me?" "Will he get the hint if I keep stopping outside the jewellers?" "Do I still want to be with him?"
But what is it really all about?
You could be forgiven for not knowing that Valentines Day is named after early Christian martyrs named Valentine and was established by Pope Gelasius I in 500 AD. The day first became associated with romantic love in the circle of Geoffrey Chaucer in the Middle Ages, when the tradition of courtly love flourished.
You are, however, unlikely to be forgiven if you write your ex's name on the card!
If in a relationship, Valentines Day does permeate our subconscious mind and asks us to consider our partners in the relationship and our feelings towards them. "Does my heart still skip a beat when I think of him?" "If not, does that mean that I no longer love him?"
Valentines Day does offer us a great opportunity to cast our minds back to when the relationship first began.
Did we both consider what we actually wanted from the relationship at outset? If so, did we share those thoughts with each other at the time? Have we both consciously made an effort to strive towards what we wanted from the relationship? Have our aspirations changed as the relationship and our lives have moved on? How do we know that we our relationship is actually working?
Relationships are no different from other areas of our lives in which we seek fulfillment. We identify what is that we want (a goal) and we strive towards achieving that goal.
By listening and asking you questions which help you to consider what you want, by when, and what success will look and feel like, a coach has helped you to take the first steps towards fulfillment. A good coach will go on to ask you to consider how you will go about reviewing your progress towards your goals, as the journey is not always a smooth one and you may want to feel like you are making it alone. Your coach will be happy to support you along the way, but your coach will not be doing his/her job properly if a dependency relationship has been created.
Relationships can bring us many joyous moments however, like many things in life, they are not always easy, and they need to be worked at.
It is therefore worth considering that if we didn't know what we wanted when we started out in the relationship then what are we working towards?
Happy Valentines Day,
Martyn Ellis,
Life and Business Coach
Email - ellis_m3@sky.com
Mob - 07875 188467
Sunday, 13 February 2011
Friday, 7 January 2011
The Future of Dating 2011
Matchmaking is getting a 2011 makeover. Here are the hottest ways to send your love life into a different dimension. Get ready for take off…
1. Pull with a pooch
Canine dating (for their owners, not the pooches!) is one of the latest crazes to come out from the US to the UK, where singletons are shunning bars for parks hoping that their pets will be conversation starters – and show they’re the caring type.
2. Tweet-up
Whether you’re a Twaddict who is always on twitter, or a novice who doesn’t know their @ from their elbow, we have news: the social networking site is the place to meet men and women and look out for tweet-up singles events soon to be launched by Mistry Marketing & Events.
3. Date on TV
Forget Take Me Out, the new matchmaking show is Dinner Dates, and it’s already been on our screens on ITV1 in the afternoons. In each episode, a man or a woman chooses from 5 menus put forward by members of the opposite sex, and then selects 3 peoples they’d like to meet based on the menu. After the dinners, they choose their favourite to go on a proper date with.
4. Blind dinner date
Why not sign yourself up to one of those foodie options instead? Blind Dinner Dates: These take place over a meal in a local restaurant, where you’ll be part of a group of guys and girls looking for love visit whenthemusicstops.com. Wine Tasting: Try some new tipples, meet a guy or girls that whets your appetite (hopefully), and come home with some phone numbers as well as a hangover visit winedater.co.uk or urbansocial.com
5. Singles Social Events
The premise is simple: cool bar and equal numbers of single men and women + alcohol = fun times! Well that’s the theory behind Mistry Marketing & Events Singles Social Events. You can cherry pick the people you want to speak to without the time restrictions. But if you’re not brave enough to go up to a girl or guy that you like the look of, even with dutch courage? This is where my team comes in, we will approach members of the opposite sex on your behalf and set up a one to one where you can find out whether you’re compatible. Visit mistrymarketingevents.co.uk for up coming events
6. Pimp your profile
Getting your internet dating profile to stand out (in a good way) is tough. So why not hire a new kind of love coach who can give your profile a makeover see October to December posts from guest bloggers who can help mistrymarketingevents.blogspot.com/
7. Try iDating
Could your phone find you love? Maybe! On the iPhone you can download a nifty little app called StreetSpark, which tells you about men in your area who match your interests. Look at your profiles and either ‘spark’ or ‘extinguish’ them. If they ‘spark’ back start chatting visit streetspark.com
Still Single?
Make it your new years resolution to find love in order to make it happen
1. Make your goals
2. Be proactive attend events etc
3. Follow through it’s the 21st century don’t wait for the man to make the call, ‘cease the day’ chivalry can be shown another day!
4. Be clear, open, honest, communicate.…..and be happy
1. Pull with a pooch
Canine dating (for their owners, not the pooches!) is one of the latest crazes to come out from the US to the UK, where singletons are shunning bars for parks hoping that their pets will be conversation starters – and show they’re the caring type.
2. Tweet-up
Whether you’re a Twaddict who is always on twitter, or a novice who doesn’t know their @ from their elbow, we have news: the social networking site is the place to meet men and women and look out for tweet-up singles events soon to be launched by Mistry Marketing & Events.
3. Date on TV
Forget Take Me Out, the new matchmaking show is Dinner Dates, and it’s already been on our screens on ITV1 in the afternoons. In each episode, a man or a woman chooses from 5 menus put forward by members of the opposite sex, and then selects 3 peoples they’d like to meet based on the menu. After the dinners, they choose their favourite to go on a proper date with.
4. Blind dinner date
Why not sign yourself up to one of those foodie options instead? Blind Dinner Dates: These take place over a meal in a local restaurant, where you’ll be part of a group of guys and girls looking for love visit whenthemusicstops.com. Wine Tasting: Try some new tipples, meet a guy or girls that whets your appetite (hopefully), and come home with some phone numbers as well as a hangover visit winedater.co.uk or urbansocial.com
5. Singles Social Events
The premise is simple: cool bar and equal numbers of single men and women + alcohol = fun times! Well that’s the theory behind Mistry Marketing & Events Singles Social Events. You can cherry pick the people you want to speak to without the time restrictions. But if you’re not brave enough to go up to a girl or guy that you like the look of, even with dutch courage? This is where my team comes in, we will approach members of the opposite sex on your behalf and set up a one to one where you can find out whether you’re compatible. Visit mistrymarketingevents.co.uk for up coming events
6. Pimp your profile
Getting your internet dating profile to stand out (in a good way) is tough. So why not hire a new kind of love coach who can give your profile a makeover see October to December posts from guest bloggers who can help mistrymarketingevents.blogspot.com/
7. Try iDating
Could your phone find you love? Maybe! On the iPhone you can download a nifty little app called StreetSpark, which tells you about men in your area who match your interests. Look at your profiles and either ‘spark’ or ‘extinguish’ them. If they ‘spark’ back start chatting visit streetspark.com
Still Single?
Make it your new years resolution to find love in order to make it happen
1. Make your goals
2. Be proactive attend events etc
3. Follow through it’s the 21st century don’t wait for the man to make the call, ‘cease the day’ chivalry can be shown another day!
4. Be clear, open, honest, communicate.…..and be happy
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